Still I Will Trust

I have struggled, since as far back as I can remember, with a fear of being disappointed, and of being let down.
Many times this fear leaked over into the way I would pray to God. I was often afraid to pray about something specific, or to present a request to God and trust that He would answer.
What if I believed with all of my heart, but then I didn't get the answer that I had been praying for? What if God let me down? How could I then go on trusting Him?

These were thoughts that came at me many times, and caused me to shy away when I would talk to God about my needs. I often tried to have a back up plan, just in case he didn't answer the way I thought he should!

I remember a few years ago reading the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the Bible. (found in Daniel chapter 3) If you aren't familiar with the story, I encourage you to read it! Even if you know it, you should really read it again!
  The king back then, had ordered that everyone worship an idol that he'd built, and if anyone refused they would be thrown into a huge fire. But these 3 men would not bow down to any false gods and said they would only worship the true God. For this, the king ordered that they were to be thrown into the furnace. I am sure these men prayed to God pretty hard, their prayer was probably very specific, asking him to save them!
Thankfully God did save them from being burnt up! But the part of the story that really stands out to me is what these men told the king, before they were thrown into the fire. Daniel 3:17-18" If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from your Majesty's hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

But even if he does not...

Six little words that hold such meaning!
These men prayed, but their faith in God was not dependent on God answering the way that they thought he should. They knew that God could save them, but their trust and faith rested securely in who God was, not in what God could do for them.

My heart longs for this type of Truth to soak down into my very soul. It breaks off every fear that tries to sneak it's way into my prayers. The lies that tell me that I shouldn't trust God because what if he doesn't answer the way I think he should, or what if he lets me down because thing don't go the way I think they need to. I realize that my faith and trust needs to be firmly rooted in who God is, not just in what he can do.
Deuteronomy 31:6 says the he will never leave us or forsake us.
Philippians 4:12-13 says that he will give us strength in every situation that we face.
 Romans 8:28 That he does work things out for the good of those who love him.

As we fill our minds with the Truth, we can then pray to God with confidence, knowing that he loves us, that he sees the big picture. Our faith, hope, and trust are unshakable when they are securely rooted in God.

There's a song called Trust In You, by Lauren Daigle, that I've been listening to lots lately. The words echo the cry in my heart to trust God even when things aren't going the way that I think they should.

Here's a link to the song:

The purpose of our gifts

I loved sitting down to write the blog post for last week. I felt very grown up and excited as i sat down with my lap top and cup of coffee and wrote what was on my mind and heart. The words came readily as my heart poured out onto the keyboard. Hey this is easy, i thought, it'll be great if every week goes this smoothly!

 I thought I knew what I was going to write about this week, so I finally sat down, and started typing...then deleted it...and come up with a whole new idea...and deleted that one too...and changed my mind over and over...and still nothing!  The words were a bit jumbled and weren't flowing like I expected them to! I realized that another week was almost up, and I still didn't have anything to post on the blog! And did I mention that I'm a bit of a procrastinator?!

Ok God, I prayed, can't you just give me something really wise to blog about? Teach me something so I can share it, but please make it quick, I've got a deadline you know! 

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that my prayer actually may have sounded like that!

 I decided to open up my Bible. I'm beginning to realize that the answers I'm looking for are always right there, if I'm willing to take the time to ask, to look and spend time with God. His Word is so full of life! I love reading different translations of the Bible, and the Message translation is one of my favourites.  So, I stopped trying to figure things out on my own, I opened up my Bible, and asked God to help! What I found was 
James 3:15-16 "Do You want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here's what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It's the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn't wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn't wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn't wisdom. It's the furthest thing from wisdom--it's animal cunning, devilish conniving. Whenever you're trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others' throat"

Wow, strong words! I stopped and realized that maybe God was trying to tell me something!
Here I had been looking for something to write about, for a bit of wisdom to share, and maybe deep down, hoping that I would seem wise in someone else's eyes.
 But suddenly I saw that if I am writing in a way that only causes people to look at me and the things that I know, then I think I'm missing the whole point!  I need to stop and take a good look at my intentions. Am I just asking God to help me write a blog post, or am I truly wanting Him to teach me something that will challenge me to change the way I am living my life. 

Maybe God gives us gifts as a way to point people to Himself! He is the one who needs to shine, and the One whom people need to be drawn towards. If we use our gifts, whatever they are, hoping that people will admire us or think better of us in some way, then it won't be long before we're trying to compete with each other and hoping to outshine the person next to us! And then things fall apart!

We need to use our gifts, our skills, talents, and abilities, as a way to work together, to build each other up, and to point people to God. He is more than able to meet everyone's needs, not just the needs that we can see. He sees hearts and hurts and fears and wants to heal the things deep inside all of us.

We need to spend time with God, and allow him to change us from the inside. To let him teach us how to live well, to live wise, and to live humbly.  

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus!

Welcome to the blog! I'm excited to start this! 
About 7 or 8 years ago i started my own blog, just writing about things such as being a mom, my never ending battle with dishes and laundry and clutter, and whatever else was on my mind! 
 I loved writing about the things that God was teaching me through everyday life, and I loved being able to share my thoughts with others, though I think there was only about 5 or 6 people who ever read it :) I didn't post things very often, and there were many times that weeks or months would pass by before I'd take time to sit down and write a new post.  It's now been a couple of years since I've taken the time to sit down and write anything new on that blog, not because I didn't want to, but mostly because I forgot the password to get into my account!
 So when a couple of the girls asked me if I could start writing a weekly blog for our group Gifted, I jumped at the chance! I loved the idea and was excited to be part of something like that!
And yes, this time I've written down the password!
Almost as soon as I agreed to write this blog, my mind drifted to all of the reasons why I shouldn't do this. A weekly blog post?, I thought, But I'm the biggest procrastinator that I know and will never get something written each week on time! I'm not funny or smart enough, what if no one wants to read it anyways...my spelling and grammar aren't perfect...what if people don't like what I write about or don't relate to anything i post?!
 And on and on these thought came as I focused more on my weaknesses and the obstacles that seemed in my view.
Oh God, i thought, why put this opportunity in front of me, something i would love to do, and then let it be ripped away because I feel that I'm not good enough to do it? Suddenly, the words to an old song, that I used to sing as a child, starting playing in my mind ," Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace."
Oh the power and truth in these words! When my eyes are steadily fixed on Him, all of my inabilities and weaknesses fade away from my view. I begin to see that it is God who gives gifts to us, and He will also give us the strength and ability to use these gifts! If we choose to focus on Him and his strength, we can then use our gifts, knowing that the Giver of gifts is also the One who enables us to use them!
Doubts and fears are replaced with peace and hope when we choose to keep our eyes on Jesus!

Here's a link if you'd like to listen to the song: